Have you ever been out bare faced because you recognise how harmful makeup is as a patriarchal tool of oppression even though you use it for self-expression and don’t want to become to reliant on it, only to find yourself around a bunch of goths and emos and screaming inside because you look normal and they won’t be able to tell you have the same music taste? Well this is the makeup routine for you! Simply duck behind the manga shelf at Waterstones and complete this look in three minutes, and everyone will ask you for a wrist check when you re-emerge! (I don’t have any photos of the steps which is kind of stupid because makeup is visual, but it’s self explanatory use your common sense)
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Apply a BB cream or tinted moisturiser over your face. I like these because they are pretty foolproof and don’t require any effort to blend. I currently keep a Garnier BB cream in my bag for precisely this reason.
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Use a kohl pencil to draw a thick, heavy ring around your eye. Thicker than you think it should be. Smudge it out using your fingers until you look like you lost a fight at a gunpowder factory. Tightline your upper and lower lid.
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Optionally, draw a wing using liquid liner and add mascara. Skip this for a more Rodrick Heffley look.
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Add a little bit of glitter to at least the inner third of your eye using your ring fingers.
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Apply lipstick. Usually for me this is MAC’s Coffee and Cigs, though on a rare occasion I might go for red. While the eye makeup in non-negotiable, I might forego lipstick entirely if I am dressed a bit more masculine.
Is this flattering? No. Does it look like it took more effort than it did? No. Do I recommend it? No. But I like it so I am posting about it. Okay, bye.
